Under coveR
This is a word for word message from somebody I wrote a general letter asking how things are and giving her the gossip from my side. The aim being to renew contact; the response took me aback completely. “HIDDEN MESSAGES”? What in the name of heaven for?
But this was also a pointer to how we complicate our lives by assigning meanings to things by letting our imaginations roam and fly of the handle. How we interpret situations with angles that are not there. What could be the reason behind it?
One reason comes explicitly to mind to me because I have used it as a gambit in the game of life. Others there may be but would not be so clearly obvious. It is that we want the other guy to say something specific and as we can’t put words in his mouth we gaud him to come out with it by purposely taking the route of misunderstanding. We use the part accusation and part hurt-my-feelings style. The ploy is to show that we have misunderstood by accusing him indirectly or (why not) directly. In his defense and to keep the goodwill alive the other person then is sort of obligated to say something nice and reconciliatory which is more in line to what we want to hear. We may then continue the playacting by making a show of sulk so that the poor other guy, to keep the relationship alive elaborates further by saying even nicer things in his defense.
For this purpose the sentence “So you mean to say……..” to start an accusation works very well. After this sentence is in the air, the respondent has no other recourse but to go on the defensive and explain his point in very “EGO calming” tones. A lot of people have perfected this as an art. In many I have noticed this has become part of their persona. Don’t’ fall for it. You should respond by smiling coolly and changing the subject. Or if something has to be said, say something like” Oh come on! Don’t be an ass!!” and laugh it off. If you are not good at acting etc then stick to the straight and narrow and give him the explanation but remember you’ve been had.
This is something like using reverse psychology. For example I give here an imaginative example: HE- Will you come to the tailor with me; I have to try my new suit? YOU – I wish I could but I hover already promised my wife to go out with her to the market. HE – So you don’t care what happens too my expensive investment in this suit?
Anyway, generally speaking I have seen the turmoil and tragedies we humans create by being ambiguous; sometimes just for the cleverness of it. If we could only be clear and precise at all times. If we make it a habit which others will soon recognize, we would soon avoid so many unpleasant situations.
Source:
http://tickledbylife.com/index.php/hidden-meanings/
